My good friend Carl S from Dear Old Blighty (England to the Aussies) sent me this:
“Does anybody know how to cancel a bid on e-Bay? Yesterday I put in a bid for a “Cowboy Outfit”, and apparently I am now 6 minutes away from owning the entire British Government plus the Opposition.”
Carl, you should have kept the bid in – you were six minutes away from doing us all a great service – does your rubbish collector take toxic political waste? And what kind of cowboy outfit I ask myself and when were you planning to wear it?![]() |
Cowboy Outfits |
The chaos in the markets gets worse. The US debt will probably never be repaid, the UK’s debt is projected to be 80% of GDP in 2014 and the Euro zone is on the verge of collapse. For those with a financial bent, I have a new blog “The Financial Tradie”. Go to http://financialtradie.wordpress.com/ to read the pearls of wisdom. For those with other bents, think about getting a cowboy suit.
Still on matters of money and investment, after attending an ATO (Australian Tax Office) seminar on how to fill in forms (I kid you not), we learned that we have to “interrogate” our accounts. Here is an excerpt from last week’s interrogation.
Q. "OK, you can call a lawyer if you wish, but this is just an informal chat. What's your name?"
A. "Mind Your Own Business."
Q "Don't get smart with me. Now what's your name?"
A. "MYOB. We're called "Mind Your Own Business". It's a clever play on words."
Q. "Well, that's alright then. Shall we go out for a drink and then back to my place for a bit of data entry, nudge-nudge, tap-tap, wink-wink, say no more, know what I mean eh?"
A. “Alright then. But I insist on only one set of books. Not one for the ATO and one for the business. I'm not that kind of accounts package"
Freddie’s passenger door latch stopped working last month. Passengers had to wind down the window to open the door, a sure sign of an immigrant. I mentioned this in passing to Terry a labourer on our development project. “Just use the plastic tag off the bread packet” he said except that my little plastic thingy was completely buggered. See photo. In true bush mechanic fashion, I took the thingy off the offside rear door and put it on the front pax door. Not only did it all work, the back door still keeps going despite the lack of a thingy. Ford, it seems that bakers, and useless immigrants know more about your cars than your research department. I really can’t see Freddie being consigned to the scrap heap when we can fix him with bread tags. God bless Australia!
We’re now “Tradies” having embarked on the renovation an old house in Annerley and development of two town houses on the same block. We do the simple stuff like humping concrete and stripping wall paper to try and keep costs down. I used to enjoy humping and stripping, but all I have to show for it now are sore hands.
On a recent trip to Ikea we saw they had “Bumerangs” for sale. This is Aussieland, home of the boomerang you Swedish people. We have boomerangs. I wonder if anyone in the store speaks English. It turns out, bumerangs are clothes hangers. And what’s an unnatural boomerang? Older readers may remember the classic Charlie Drake’s “My boomerang won’t come back”. Here it is. Wonderful stuff. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uoBXAUNU1HE . What would he have said about a bumerang. “My coat hanger won’t come back. Hardly.
Keep Well, Stay Safe
Kidner Jeremy and Mrs K
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