Trumpy,Bludgers, Blue Tongue Lizards and more

Trumpy

My 40^th birthday present finally made it onto the road – this has taken nearly a quarter of a century.  Well, no sense in hurrying eh.  Despite an incorrect engine number on the documentation, despite missing documentation, and thanks to ever helpful Maria at the department that licenses bikes, cars, boats and drivers, the bike is now registered in Paradise.  It has also been restored and some might say, better looking and more useful than its owner. Anyway here it is in all its glory thanks to BJ’s Bikes and Bits.  Well done guys and thanks.  How come bikes look better as they get older?

Trumpy with Aussie plates

Still on the subject of bikes, some civilised people shop at Bunnings.  You can see how interested Mrs K is in all this…

Talking of Bunnings, an Aussie was sitting at a bar in Sydney when this huge American guy walks in. As he passes the Aussie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the floor. The big Yank says "That's a karate chop from Korea." Well, the Aussie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his beer.  The big Yank then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he walks by the Aussie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and knocks him to the floor. "That's a judo chop from Japan", he says. The Aussie decides he's had enough and leaves. Half hour later he comes back and sees the big Yank sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him and smacks him on the head, knocking him out. The Aussie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up mate, tell him that was a f****** crowbar from Bunnings."

And on the subject of renos, do you like blue tongue lizards? To non - Aussie readers, the blue tongued lizard is a lizard, which may come as a surprise.  Here he is, well here is his tail.  I couldn’t get a picture of his tongue to verify the colour.  This is all part of our effort to keep Bunnings profitable and give Julia (PM) and Anna (State Premier) something else to tax.

We will eventually sell the renovated house (which has to be retained) and two townhouses we will build on the plot.   The blue tongue lizard hasn’t so far shown any inclination to help us do this – he’s probably what the Aussies call a bludger, a lazy person. According to Urban Dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bludger) the term was originally British slang for a pimp, someone living off the work of others while making no contribution.  Here are people who are not bludgers helping with the reno. 

The blue tongue lizard and the bludger are off camera watching. Here’s another definition of bludger. “Slack arse prick who does f**k all, yet pretends he's king f***kin' dick.” Not far off the mark.

60^th Birthday

Mrs K took me along to Lisa‘s 60^th birthday party. Lisa is one of her tennis friends and has a beach house at Carramundi, just up the coast near Caloundra, a favourite seaside town for us.  The great thing about the tennis ladies apart from their charm and good looks is that they all came armed with a wonderful assortment of cakes.  Mrs K dropped me and the push bike (worth more than Freddie Falcon) at Landsborough where I met Jon L (the fittest man I know, just recovered from brain surgery) and Alan, Mr Lisa.  We had a brisk 30 minute ride to their beach house after which the whole crowd arrived and a good time was had by all.  Here they are – it does not get better than this.  To give you an idea of how nice a spot it is, they are standing about 30 metres from the beach house (not looking for the tennis court I should add).  To cap it all, the Wallabies defied form and beat the South Africa in the World Rugby Killing Fest in NZ.   The blue tongue lizard declined the invitation – said he couldn’t ride a bike.  Jon might have added “Nor can Kidner Jeremy but that doesn’t seem to stop him”.

Politics and Pollution

I don’t know how long our pristine shores will remain pristine.  There is a bit of a hullaballoo in Paradise about the extraction of coal seam gas from pristine farm land, not to mention open cut mines the size of Lancashire every 100 km’s or so.  Apparently extracting coal seam gas uses lots of water which will be pumped from underground, and likely polluted at the same time.  Readers may know Australia as “The Dry Continent”.  Odd that one. The irony is that Julia “No Carbon Tax” Gillard has just had a carbon tax approved after stating there wouldn’t be one.  Give me the blue tongue lizard any day.

Keep Well, Stay Safe

Kidner Jeremy and Mrs K